# Ambitions

By Randall Degges · November 13, 2012 · https://rdegges.com/2012/ambitions/

> It's 1am and I'm torn: be content with the happy life I have, or chase my huge ambitions all-or-nothing? I lean toward the fight, but it's a hard choice.

![Old Man Sketch][]


It's about 1am right now, and instead of sleeping I'm thinking about all the
things I want to accomplish, and what I need to do to get there.

While I'm currently really happy with my day-to-day life: I enjoy the things
I'm working on each day, I'm constantly learning new skills, I'm pushing myself
past my comfort barrier--I'm always craving *more*.

More skills, more connections, more victories, more struggles, more
achievements--more *everything*.  Unfortunately, when I think about these
things (which I do quite often), I can't help but feel a bit guilty.

Internally, there's always a debate that takes place.  One side of me says
"You're happy with what you're currently doing.  Don't constantly focus on
always doing bigger, better things!  Be content with yourself *now*!"  While
the other side says "Go big!  Don't settle for your current situation.  Be
happy with yourself, but push yourself outside your limits, and don't yield!"

It's a struggle.

On one hand, I can see myself easily "going with the flow" and learning to be
content with myself.  On the other hand--I don't want to give up my huge
ambitions without a fight.

Is this normal?  Does everyone feel this way?

While both sides of the spectrum appeal to me, I must admit I'm quite a bit
more fond of the all-or-nothing approach.  The idea of struggling through the
pain, sacrifice, and discipline of working towards my ambitions seems somewhat
romantic.

It's a fork in the road--but I suppose everyone has to choose at one point or
another.


[Old Man Sketch]: old-man-sketch.png "Old Man Sketch"